The ABCs

The other day we did a GET UP (Girls Empowerment Team of the Umoja
Project) session with the middle shcool aged girls at four of the
Umoja partner schools. Our topic to cover was HIV/AIDS. Simple enough,
right? Wear condoms. Know the HIV status of your sexul partners. Fewer
sexual encounters means fewer chances for infection. Don't share
razors. Shaking hands and hugging are safe ways to interact with
people with HIV. Sharing food and a toilet are also safe. Avoid blood,
semon, vaginal discharge, and breast milk as they carry the highest
concentration of the virus.

Yeah, but its not that simple!

The PeaceCorps Life Skills book for this region of Africa that we were
using to help plan the event suggested that we teach the ABCs of HIV.
The ABCs are universally taught.

A = Abstain
B = Be faithful
C = Condoms

I think I was taught the ABCs of HIV back in the US when I was the
same age as these girls. And it makes sense - following these three
directions is bound to greatly decrease one's chance of contracting
HIV.

But how could we teach these things in this culture?

Yes, as a child growing up in the US, I could say no.(Although, that
isn't the reality for many children in the United States who are
abused or forced to work on the street to survive.) And these girls in
Kenya can also say no, but its not the same here.

ABSTAIN. Really, abstain? Let's think about this. Each of these girls
is a partial or total orphan living in a highly patriarchal culture.
Abuse and sexual explotation is rampant. And additionally the children
in Kenya are constantly reminded of how education is the only way to
improve their quality of life. Education is everything to these
students. It is so different from the United States. The high school
students at the St. Gabriel's Minor Seminary, a Catholic boys secondry
boarding school for students discerning a call to the priesthood that I
stay at, wake up at 4:00AM each day to begin studying. They start
class at 7:00AM and continue until 5:00PM or so, but after that they
continue with remedial lessons with their teachers until late in the
evening. Then they do their homework late into the night, only to wake
up the next day at 4:00AM. Even primary school students attend class
on Saturdays. And most of the female students who don't board have
several hours of house work to complete in addition to their school
obligations. Education is top priority in this culture.

Students fight to remain in school. They would do anything for the
opportunity to receive an education. And they do. These girls accept
the offers of their male classmates to have sex with them in exchange
for notebooks for class and other needed school materials. They accept
the advances of older men who might assist with their school fees or
buy them their required school uniform. Because of this, I spoke with
the girls at the GET UP program about saying no to those advances and
offers. We told them that they were beautifully created children of
God, who were known, loved , and adored by the one who created them.
Mandy reminded them that they were treasured possessions of God
(Deuteronomy 7:6). And Winnie, a former Umoja student, told them that they were more valuable than a
notebook of paper that costs at most 50 shillings (roughly 70 cents).
And they are.

But my words were so hallow. These girls are valuable. They are
children and treasures of God. They deserve so much more. But how can
I tell them to "just say no." As if it was that simple. As if saying
no didn't result in them losing their school fees and giving up on
any opportunity for success or a life that they have any control over.

Abstain, be faithful, wear condoms. I felt like a fish out of water.
Could I have been any less sensitive to the realities of their
situations? Statistically, nearly a 1/4 of these girls have been
sexually abused or exploited. Who am I to direct them when I am so out
of touch with the realities of their lives.

These girls are valuable. They are tremendously more valuable than the
few pieces of paper that they are surendering themselves for. But can
I really stand in front of them and tell them to forfeit their
opportunity for education (and better and more full life) over their
purity? I just don't know. I don't know what God wanted me to say. But
I'm pretty sure God had some other words in mind. I'm pretty sure
words aren't enough for the reality of this situation. I can't see the
answer for these girls. I'm pretty sure God knows it, but I'm
struggling to trust in that.